I’m working on a Writing exercise and need support.

I need help on my essay.

I see my essay is not really showing my opinion. Mostly all my paragraphs are just explainig the evidence I use. I want my essay more professional.

I want you to add more setence that show my position and not repeating same ideas over and over.

I attached the 3 files

1. Essay prompt with requirements.

2. Esaay draft and reviewed by professor (Please read carefully for professor comment with essay requirement on last page)

3. My revised essay ( I revised after professor commnets but still not satisfied the requirements.

**** Full pages please***

Thank you